Buckaroo

By prinsisss on Oct 7, 2009 | Reply

I really can’t wait for this year’s Thanksgiving! Last year was such a blast!
Although there was some goofy moments.

For instance, my cousin started getting annoyed because my little brother wouldn’t leave him alone and he said “Why Do You Insist Talking Like Elmer Fudd?”
My brother said “ I don’t talk like Elmer Fudd, Where is that Wabbit?”

All of a sudden my uncle Clyde was like “Shhhh! Did You Hear That? “

“Hear What?” My Aunt Jael asked.

“Darn, not again.” My Sister-in-law said. “ I swear, those kids are gonna be the death of me. Those kids are psychotic!” She walked out of the room and came back 5 minutes later with my 14 year old nephew Jack and 12 year old nephew Bobby. Bobby had a bloody nose and Jack had a black eye.
“ Ok, you sit here, and you sit here.” she sat both of them on opposite sides of the table.

“ Mommmmmm! “ Bobby whined. “ I don’t want to sit by uncle lou. He smells!”

All of a sudden Uncle Lou got up and yelled “I’m leaving!!! You All Belong On "America’s Most Wanted" !

And as he was leaving we all heard him farting Buckets of Rain!

I looked at my nephew Jack and I said.”Why Jack, you’re growing to be such a handsome boy, why soon all the girls will be all over you.”

Jack blushed and replied. “ Aw, shucks….Why thank You, Maam.”
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I was bored.

By sillyfrog on Oct 7, 2009 | Reply

It’s so interesting to observe Thanksgiving gatherings. As a social psychologist,I’ve decided that each member falls into a character that has evolved within the family. Curiously, many members do not behave the same in the real world.
This year was no different. The first order of division,is between optimists and pessimists.As Grandma arises before sunrise on the BIG day,she classifies herself.
"Shhhh! Did you hear that? Gol dang it! I just knew the "sunny day" report would turn to buckets of rain! Now, I’ll have to keep the dogs in and they’ll be at my feet lookin’ for scraps ALL day."
Her grumbling goes unnoticed by a snoring Grandpa. His chore today would be to keep track of the t.v. remote and that was gonna require extra rest.
As usual, the morning races on until the first members arrive.SOMEHOW, the turkey is stuffed and nearly ready, vegetables are peeled, pies are cooling on the sil and Grandma is waiting to greet them in a clean,freshly pressed apron. Uncle Frank embraces his role as "family" stooge and this year he is Marshal Matt Dillon.
"This reminds me of Saturday Night in Dodge City. Miss Kitty you’re as lovely as ever!" He takes Grandma’s hand and kisses it.
Grandma plays along. "Why Marshal, you sure do know how to sweet talk a lady!"
"Aw,shucks…..why thank you,Maam." He takes her arm and sachets her off.

The rest of the folk continue to accumulate and before you know it, there’s a dull roar thoughout.
"Those kids are psychotic!" Grandpa makes an entrance already complaining about the "youth of today". He was last seen tearing apart the livingroom furniture shouting,"You all belong on "America’s Most Wanted"! The kids always think it’s a real scream to hide his beloved remote.
At the same time, Aunt Marion (Frank’s alter-ego and Martha Stewart’s mentor) exits the bathroom with a very familiar look of disgust. "Has Bigfoot moved in here?" (No one EVER answers her.) "I just took enough hair out of the shower drain to recarpet my livingroom!"
FINALLY the table is set and the dinner bell rings.
"Whoa buckaroo! I need to sit at the end of the table so I can watch the football game." (You have to admit,even though Uncle Frank has polished off his second bottle of wine, he stays in character!)
There’s a welcomed HUSH as Grandma reveals the "mouth watering" main course.
"Hey!!!! Where’s Mattbaby and Sunshine!" In unison, the crowd says,"Shut up Frank!"
The rest is on file in my memory next to all those of the family eternal circle of love. I plan to refer to them often while writing my new book,_A Survival Guide to Family Gatherings for Dummies_.
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By Poetgirl727 on Oct 7, 2009 | Reply

As a poet who normally attempts to capture mini stories within a short space I find these exercises a real challenge, but thank you for them. Here’s my humble attempt.

Buckets of rain came down on the morning of this Thanksgiving Day but no-one was complaining, because inside the house was warm and the smell of the roasting Turkey was making everyone drool much too soon.

The TV was blaring in the corner of the family room and Pa Joe pushed Billy off the dining chair saying “whoa Buckaroo, I Need To Sit At This End Of The Table So I Can Watch The Football Game”. Soon everyone was in position for the Feast. For one quiet minute while heads were bowed for Grace you could have sworn it was the Eternal Circle of Love. But families being families, that warm fuzzy feeling wouldn’t last long.

“Hey!!! Where’s MattBaby and Sunshine?” squealed Granny May (Whose periodic outbursts were becoming an embarrassment to the family). “Are they still up to no good in Dodge City? Why she ever took up with that loser I’ll never know. Those kids are psychotic” and “You All Belong On "America’s Most Wanted”. “Aww shucks thank you ma’am” came Matt’s gentle voice from the hallway. The sudden arrival of MattBaby & Sunshine shocked everyone. A year away without any news from them was almost long enough to forget them. After the initial hubbub of sworn greetings and excited yelling the table was rearranged to seat the new arrivals. “This Reminds Me of Saturday Night In Dodge City.” Said Matt sarcastically.

Sunshine wasn’t her usual chatty self. “wassa matter girl, cat got yer tongue?” spat Pa Joe through a mouthful of mashed potato. “Well Gwanpa, I ain’t been feewing too wewl wately” Sunshine slowly spoke “Why Do You Insist Talking Like Elmer Fudd?” questioned Pa. “ She had root canal surgery yesterday Grandpaw and the anaesthetic hasn’t worn off yet.” Explained Matt. Everyone nodded sympathetically except Granny May who was chasing her peas around her plate with a teaspoon.

Pa Joe said “Shhhh! Did You Hear That? Woo hoo the Cowboys have scored, yee haa!”

Yes Folks, sometimes you can’t pick your family, but you can still be thankful for them.
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